Monday, August 3, 2009

Best Kansas City Golf Courses to Play when you SUCK

I speak from experience guys! Here are Kansas City's best golf courses to play when you totally SUCK at golf:

South Kansas City

Without a doubt, the best golf course to play in South Kansas City when you suck is Minor Park Golf Course. First of all there is ONE sand trap on the entire course. ONE. I've been in it several times - it's almost like a little bonus to be in the only sand trap on the course - all of your friends will laugh at you and point and say nice job dumb ass - you found the only trap on the course. The good news is, you get to bring your corona with you when you play out. Minor Park Golf Course is also very short, making walking a breeze, and the play is relatively fast even on Sundays. HINT: Don't park your car too close to the 9th green or you may not have a windshield when you get back.

North Kansas City

If you're up north - in which case I feel sorry for you to begin with - Zona Rosa is a joke - what are they trying to do, copy off of Johnson County? The streets and buildings might look like Johnson County but the people in the streets and buildings are still rubes from the sticks - but I digress...if you are stuck up north for some reason, a great place to play is Hodge Park. Although there are two golf courses up north that are rated higher in Tiffany Greens (not a bad course but it is somewhat of a treeless ranch) and Shoal Creek (which is a TOTAL treeless ranch), Hodge Park is a MUCH better course than either Tiffany Greens or Shoal Creek - especially suck.

Hodge Park is similar to it's southern counter-part Minor Park in that it is a nice little well-kept course that is short and relatively free of sand and water. There is a lot of water up there - but it is off in the distance and makes great scenery.

Olathe / Johnson County

If you are not a wealthy member of one of Johnson County's numerous country clubs, then I suggest you look at playing The Overland Park Golf Course. Be sure and make a tee time out there or you will be screwed son. The good news is, some of the best Kansas City Restaurants are in that area so at least you can catch a good meal.


If you're lucky enough to get through Leawood without getting pulled over, I suggest Deer Creek golf course. I am a member at Deer Creek and I love this place. It has all of the country club feel without the country club snobs. A full bar, a great staff, and a fairly easy - no wait a minute - this course isn't easy at all! This course is hard as hell! Indeed, do not go to Deer Creek expecting to put up great numbers. No, my friends, pack a nice cooler of booze, bring someone that you enjoy talking to no matter what else is going on, and just enjoy not being at work. You WILL suck ass on this golf course - it is designed to make you realize just how bad a golfer you really are. Remember that day you shot a 78 at that one course? Not going to happen at Deer Creek. But the houses around the course are super sweet and the course is as close to a pro course as you will see in the city, and did I mention that they had a full bar?

WAY out South

If you're in the mood to play somewhere really weird, try playing a round at River Oaks Golf Course. Located in rural Grandview (I know, don't laugh yet, it gets better), River Oaks offers a lovely course that literally winds it's way through the ghetto. Your golf experience will be enhanced by lovely views of broken down basketball hoops, over-sized bbq grills, a roadside park, and even the occasional ghetto resident (who knows nothing about golf) will stroll out onto the fairway with their kids or their dog. You gotta see this place to believe it.

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