Thursday, May 19, 2011

Prepare for Rapture, Saturday at 6PM

Religious nutburger and all around fun guy Harold Camping (pictured at right) has predicted the Rapture to begin at 6PM local time this Saturday, May 21st - followed by the fiery end of the world Oct 21. Camping predicted the same thing back in 1994, inaccurately since we do still exist. It sure makes my posts about future Kansas City Events somewhat useless.

All believers will be instantly transported to the Kingdom of Heaven. The good news for us heathens is that according to Camping there is no eternal damnation in the fires of Hell. Instead we will be treated to five months of "horror and chaos beyond all description" and "all graves will be thrown open" ala Zombieland. Sounds like a helluva party! After which, total annihilation of all living things on October 21st, and that's it. So at least we got that going for us.

Don't worry, we here at Kansas City News will keep blogging (at least through Saturday) to give you something to do while you wait for the "earthquake such as was not since men were put upon Earth". So, go ahead and max out your credit cards Kansas City, the end is near - Harold Camping guarantees it! Of course his church is still taking donations, just in case.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Awesome story! I wonder if anyone actually believes this rapture crap. If so, you would fit in better back in 200 AD rather than the modern age. I'm sure that something huge is going to destroy the planet, but it's going to be done by us, the people who live here. God just watches and let's everything happen naturally.

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