Our First Real Hate Mail !!

Here at Kansas City News we pride ourselves in creating controversy, bearing naked truths, and pulling the wool OFF of the eyes of the people.  In our quest to tell the news like it is instead of candy coating it, we often run into resistance and even hatred from some readers.  With this premise I present to you, OUR FIRST HATE LETTER!!

Here is the letter in verbatim:

To whom it may concern:

As a veteran journalist, I just wanted to give you some insight on what it appears you're trying to do.

You cannot "tell the news like it is" if you're just scraping the material off the other news organizations' websites in the metro. If you're "news writers" or "bloggers" are not on the scene, talking to the sources themselves then how do you expect them to write with authority on any of these subjects or news items?

You do, realize, that when you express your opinion, you are stating your bias. You cannot write an opinion that is without bias. By nature, the opinion is stating your bias.

I'm not sure what "candy coat" (not hyphenated because those words are not double modifying any words that follow it in the sentence) you are talking about. If anything, the local news stations sensationalize things and make a bigger deal out of things than they really are. They do not candy coat the news.

And really, you're paying $50 for four paragraphs of someone's random thoughts on news in Kansas City? A freelancer doing actual reporting work is lucky to make that (depending on the market and type of story). Unless you have some money-making scheme (see how money and making both modify scheme to prompt the hyphen) or are obscenely rich, I don't know how you're going to afford that for very long. Please, please, please do not say you're innovative approach is to make money off advertising because that is the actual business plan for most publications. The cost of a subscription to a newspaper or to pick it up out of the rack/newsstand doesn't even cover the cost of the actual raw materials to produce the paper - let alone the labor or overhead costs.

In case you hadn't noticed, I'm also hinting that you should brush up on your grammar to ensure clean writing on these blogs.

I just thought I'd give you a few pointers for your little start up.

Good luck.

Sincerely,

Cynic Journalist

Ok, and here is our AWESOME response:

(From Kansas City News)  Well, you sir are a real treat!  And you are also an idiot.  No real journalist in Kansas City would have time to sit down and write this email to us.  But alas, let's play your game and start with YOUR grammatical errors.  See highlighted below:

To whom it may concern:

As a veteran journalist, I just wanted to give you some insight on what it appears you're trying to do.  You sir, are NO veteran journalist.

You cannot "tell the news like it is" if you're just scraping the material off the other news organizations' websites in the metro. If you're "news writers" or "bloggers" are not on the scene, talking to the sources themselves then how do you expect them to write with authority on any of these subjects or news items?  Question, have you ever heard of the internet?  Are you from 1965 or something (hey Johnny, yeah see, let's go get the scoop from Sammy down on 3rd street, yeah he's a real wise guy see)?

You do, realize, that when you express your opinion, you are stating your bias. You cannot write an opinion that is without bias. By nature, the opinion is stating your bias.

I'm not sure what "candy coat" (not hyphenated because those words are not double modifying any words that follow it in the sentence) you are talking about. If anything, the local news stations sensationalize things and make a bigger deal out of things than they really are. They do not candy coat the news.  The "candy coating" that we're referring to is the politically correct manner in which the local news stations use to relay the news.  If there are 400 black kids from the ghetto on the plaza at night in front of the movie theater causing a riot, then there are 400 black kids on the plaza causing a riot, NOT "400 teenagers" as the news puts it.  If the crowd is made up of black teenagers from the ghetto then that is what the news should report.

And really, you're paying $50 for four paragraphs of someone's random thoughts on news in Kansas City? A freelancer doing actual reporting work is lucky to make that (depending on the market and type of story). Well, we have a lot of money because we know what we're doing, apparently unlike yourself.  The news online is not about the news at all, it's about getting web traffic and generating ad revenue.  You see, there's this thing in the world called money, and with money you get power, and with power you can tell the news any damn way you want to.  It's a beautiful thing.  Unless you have some money-making scheme (see how money and making both modify scheme to prompt the hyphen) or are obscenely rich, I don't know how you're going to afford that for very long. Please, please, please do not say you're innovative approach is to make money off advertising because that is the actual business plan for most publications. The cost of a subscription to a newspaper or to pick it up out of the rack/newsstand doesn't even cover the cost of the actual raw materials to produce the paper - let alone the labor or overhead costs.  Newspaper?  Newsstand?  Haha, you ARE from the 50's man.  What the hell is this newspaper item that you speak of?

In case you hadn't noticed, I'm also hinting that you should brush up on your grammar to ensure clean writing on these blogs.  You made more grammatical errors in this email than you found in my post.

I just thought I'd give you a few pointers for your little start up.  We would like to give you a few pointers as well, switch hands every once in awhile when you masturbate so you don't get carpal tunnel, you douche bag.

Sincerely,

Kansas City News