Thugs Rob Snowbound Victims at Gunpoint

Karma's a bitch. These two fine looking gentleman to the right were caught by Kansas City Police Thursday stuck in the snow in a stolen Chevrolet Suburban. Darion Page, Michael Taylor (yes, that is a man), and an unidentified Juvenile have been arrested in connection with a series of robberies Wednesday and Thursday. The suspects would roll up on folks stuck in the snow, pull a gun and rob them (nice).

On Wednesday evening they robbed a preacher at 85th and Prospect after the preacher and another man freed the vehicle from a snowbank, these two thugs stole the Suburban as well. Another stranded motorist was held up at on Hillcrest near 103rd st. While Police were responding to that robbery, they happened upon the suspects, themselves stuck in the snow. While being interviewed, Page and Taylor both admitted being present during the robberies, but blamed the holdups on the 16 yr old juvenile. The juvenile did not make a statement to Police - he's probably the smartest one in the bunch.

I hope the courts aren't too hard on them, I'm sure they were just short on money for college tuition for next semester.

Elderly Woman Beats Attacker With Frying Pan

When 25 year old Kevin Funderburk talked his way into the home of an elderly Hutchinson woman on Saturday night, he got more than he bargained for. The woman felt sorry for Funderburk when he knocked on her door and told her he was homeless and had nowhere to go. He was drunk and didn't want trouble with the Police, he told her (so much for that). Once inside, he attempted to rape the 71 yr old woman, injuring her and causing property damage.

She grabbed a frying pan and beats this idiot senseless. When Police arrived, he was unconscious in a puddle of his own vomit. He was taken to a Wichita hospital to get his head stapled back together before being escorted to the Reno County Jail, where he sits with a $55,200 bond. He is being charged with Attempted Rape, Aggravated Battery, Criminal Damage of Property, and Criminal Restraint. He is also being held on an extradition warrant to California. No information is available about what California wants him for.

I think they should just send him to California, let them pay for his incarceration. They will like a nice little white boy like him in Folsom.

"Victim" in Overland Park Bank Robbery Arrested

The bank teller who claimed to be the victim in Wednesday Morning's robbery of the US Bank on 119th St is sitting in the Wyandotte County Jail this morning. Federal charges will likely be filed today. He and three other men are in custody awaiting the FBI. What a bunch of dummies, enjoy the next 10 years in prison fellas. Don't drop the soap!

I called this one on Wednesday when I heard the teller's story that was just too stupid to be true.

In other news of incredibly stupid people. A former Missouri Lottery winner was arrested in Florida for trying to sell a 9 week old baby. Patty Bigbee, formerly of Hazelwood, MO was arrested in a Best Buy parking lot by undercover officers. Bigbee, who has a long criminal history, won around a million dollars in Lottery two summers ago. Of course she blew it all. The woman she tried to sell the baby to was her biological daughter that she gave up for adoption.

The two had recently reconnected with each other on Facebook. (yet another reason not to use Facebook). The daughter thought she would be adopting her biological niece (Bigbee's Granddaughter), but then the subject of a $75,000 fee came up. That's when the Police were contacted. Police helped the woman negotiate a $30,000 fee, and arrested Bigbee when the exchange was supposed to be made. Bigbee, her boyfriend, and another daughter (the mother of the baby) are all in custody. What a bunch of White Trash Dirtbags.