I've heard of stupid names before for concerts, Yallapalooza, etc. but Kanrocksas is without a doubt THE dumbest name for an event that I've ever heard. How in the hell did THAT name get out of the meeting room? It's like a tribute to illiteracy. Well, it makes sense since given the bands that will be on stage will certainly draw Kansas City's biggest morons. If they posted up a police checkpoint at the front gate and checked everyone for outstanding warrants, they would need 50 buses to fit them all in. This will be the biggest gathering of white trash that Kansas City has ever witnessed in one place.
Kanrocksas is expected to draw near 100,000 attendees and they are providing camping grounds for fans to stay overnight. This is NOT a good idea. The kind of people who would want to hear bands like the King of White Trash himself, Eminem, are not the kind of people who will all get out of this alive. I'm going to guess that there will be at least 3 deaths at Kanrocksas, and at least 1700 babies conceived. I'm going to take another wild guess that Crystal Meth will be the substance of choice among these well educated and sophisticated fans, giving them the opportunity to stay up for the entire 48 hours of the concert without needing sleep or food. The last concert that hosted this many white trash attendees was the 2010 Warped Tour where there were only about 2500 people and 1 person still died of dehydration. This time there will be 100,000 drunk crystal meth heads in the dead heat of August, you do the math.
Mallory from Natural Born Killers (pictured right).
Tickets for the Kanrocksas Music Festival are on sale at Ticketmaster as follows:
G.A. TICKET, 2-DAY
This is a general admission (G.A) ticket, valid for two-day admission. Two-day G.A. passes are $179 and include free parking and free camping. This ticket will be $225 on the day of the event.
VIP TICKET, 2-DAY
VIP tickets include the 2 day G.A. admission, plus upgraded VIP parking, exclusive access to the Kanrocksas VIP area, and premium food and beverage purchase options. Two-day G.A. passes are $359 and include upgraded VIP parking and free camping. This VIP ticket will be $420 on the day of the event.