Monday, May 9, 2011

Kanrocksas Music Festival Lineup Tickets Kansas Speedway

Eminem, Muse, The Black Keys, A Perfect Circle, The Flaming Lips, Kid Cudi, D12, Girl Talk, Flogging Molly and more are headed to the Kansas Speedway on August 5th and 6th for the Kanrocksas Music Festival.

I've heard of stupid names before for concerts, Yallapalooza, etc. but Kanrocksas is without a doubt THE dumbest name for an event that I've ever heard.  How in the hell did THAT name get out of the meeting room?  It's like a tribute to illiteracy.  Well, it makes sense since given the bands that will be on stage will certainly draw Kansas City's biggest morons.  If they posted up a police checkpoint at the front gate and checked everyone for outstanding warrants, they would need 50 buses to fit them all in.  This will be the biggest gathering of white trash that Kansas City has ever witnessed in one place.

Kanrocksas is expected to draw near 100,000 attendees and they are providing camping grounds for fans to stay overnight.  This is NOT a good idea.  The kind of people who would want to hear bands like the King of White Trash himself, Eminem, are not the kind of people who will all get out of this alive.  I'm going to guess that there will be at least 3 deaths at Kanrocksas, and at least 1700 babies conceived.  I'm going to take another wild guess that Crystal Meth will be the substance of choice among these well educated and sophisticated fans, giving them the opportunity to stay up for the entire 48 hours of the concert without needing sleep or food.  The last concert that hosted this many white trash attendees was the 2010 Warped Tour where there were only about 2500 people and 1 person still died of dehydration.  This time there will be 100,000 drunk crystal meth heads in the dead heat of August, you do the math.


There is one shining light for Kanrocksas in that it will definitely be a good place to people watch.  There will definitely be some camo shorts, steel toe boots, the over sized man earrings that make the earlobe stretch out (those are so cool), various trashy tattoos, and some classic white trash girls who look really cute.........until they speak, that is.........  think Mallory from Natural Born Killers (pictured right).

Tickets for the Kanrocksas Music Festival are on sale at Ticketmaster as follows:
 
G.A. TICKET, 2-DAY
This is a general admission (G.A) ticket, valid for two-day admission. Two-day G.A. passes are $179 and include free parking and free camping.  This ticket will be $225 on the day of the event.

VIP TICKET, 2-DAY
VIP tickets include the 2 day G.A. admission, plus upgraded VIP parking, exclusive access to the Kanrocksas VIP area, and premium food and beverage purchase options. Two-day G.A. passes are $359 and include upgraded VIP parking and free camping.  This VIP ticket will be $420 on the day of the event.

8 comments:

Kanrocksas rocks! said...

Hey, this concert is going to rock! Kanrocksas is a pretty stupid name though, agreed on that!

Kanrocksas said...

This concert is definitely not going to rock, but the author is right about one thing, it will be great people watching! Kanrocksas has to be the dumbest name that has ever been marketed.

Anonymous said...

Go fuck yourself hater.

Anonymous said...

I cannot believe you call your blog "news"when not of it is fact. This is not KC News, it is KC Opinion. I am sure the amount of white trash will be much lower, since the tickets are $179 for two days, so cheap...not. Also, I hope that other pretentious tools like yourself read this, so that they will stay away and make it more enjoyable for those of us who are actually looking forward to having a music festival. I also like that you only talked about Eminem, none of the other performers, because you probably don't know who they are. Why must you be negative about something that could be profitable for KC and bring more $ and festivals to the area?

Anonymous said...

Inherently, all outdoor music festivals with "young people" bands are going to be a little trashy. That goes without saying, it didn't have to be the focus of the article, however, and yes, it will bring some $ to Kansas City, Kansas.

But....it's still going to be mostly white trash from small towns around Kansas City. Sorry, it just is.

Anonymous said...

FUCK YOU BITCH

Anonymous said...

A very disappointing depiction. Kanrocksas was a lot of fun, and I didn't get exposed to any drug abuse. It almost comes off as funny because it seems sarcastic, but overall just a bad article. I guess it got you some more hits on your shitty blog though, so thumbs up!

Seriously though I hope you die

Anonymous said...

Actually, the article was correct, someone DID die at Kanrocksas, and looking at the photos from the event there was some SERIOUS white trash.

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